My Fear

Why is life so confusing... Our parents and teachers tell us we can be anything we want to be. For me, I love my family dearly and they love me but I'm afraid that in the path I plan to follow I'll be alone. My Dad wants the best for me (so does my Mom but she has the pacients of a Saint, I mean she has put with my stubborn rebelion, my fathers temperment (not abusive in any way, this is said for the people whom like to "embellish" stories to an extreme), and my brothers a lot like my father, a short fuse and mood swings. I appear to be a heartless, ungrateful son (I'm sure), sometimes. I want to teach. With this they can follow and support me, but I've wanted to teach since I was in kindergarden. So it's not to difficult to swallow. But last year I fell in love with theatre and for me there is no looking back. I started the year doing everything that I had wanted to do the entire time that I was in high school. Two of those classes were stagecraft and Theatre I. The next thing I know I'm taking theatre I and IV and stagecraft. Then second semester I join mixed choir. My priorities change almost instantaniously, I begin to live and breathe theatre and I never looked back, except to say "I wish that I had joined sooner." My parents think that I need a back up plan, in case there arn't any theatre positions available or incase they phase theatre out of schools. But I felt like I was meant to teach in kindergarden, and I just knew that this was what I wanted to teach. I had been struggling on deciding on a subject area and where I fit. Theatre fits me and it fits perfectly. I want to say that God led me to find these. I prayed and he answered. But I will not put that upon him for the possibility that I might be wrong. But I feel that he is working in me, guiding me. I've made mistakes, many and daily. I'm trying to improve, but who knows? My parent's know this is my intent but their not thrilled. I know what I want, I know that I feel like I'm being led here, but am I following the proper path?

The Fall

Lost in a world of darkness, I sojourn onward.

Keeping in tim, keeping in pace.

Never behind, but never ahead.

I'm tired and weary,

Mine eyes are heavy, my soul is weak.

Barely moving , continue fighting.

A voice doth say,

Fight for but another day.

Another says,

The road be to hard to treck,

continue on but another day.

Yet another says,

Ahhh... but this path over yonder is smooth and flat,

treck but this course.

The first and second respond together,

But that course leads to another end and not home.

The third voice receads.

The second voice again pleas,

take the path another way,

the woods be dark and are unknown onto me.

The first again responds,

But it is in our darkest hour we gain thy greatest wisdom,

for if we do not fall, how can we understand how we rise?

The second reacedes.

The third leaves saying onto me,

Travel thy road true and straight, the Lord shall provide.

I've come but down this narrow road to find I must fight,

my war shall not be fought with swords or guns,

It shall be fought with my soul and heart.

These wounds that can befall me are greater than any physial wound.

They are deeper, and do not always heal.

But I must stand tall, and my character must not take the fall...

About Myself

Hey, I'm new to the world of bloging so you'll have to hang tight while I figure this realm of the world out. You can call me Dob, it's a nickname I rarely use, but it is a name. I'm 19 years old and I'm a college student. If you want to know more about me you'll have to ask because I plan to use this more as an outlet than a meeting place (I have a myspace and facebook for that).

I'm open to all people of all beliefs (I actually sometimes get along better with people of differing beliefs at least to a point). I've been raised in a christain family. I was raised in the denomination of Southern Baptist but by no means do I believe in everything a traditional Southern Baptist believes. I'm middle class and I have a decently good life. I live with my parents (sometimes much to my distain, most of the time it's alright) because it's fiscally the best thing for me to do at this point in my life. And I guess the last thing I will mention is that I love theatre.